Thursday, May 03, 2007

Tidal waves don't beg forgiveness

Finality is so rare in our society. There are few things that are final (I'm glad to have just received my tax returns), so when I found myself in a discussion about a final point at a long journey, it was somewhat surreal. I don't think the reality really sunk in at the time, but now it is just that - the journey ended, final, not really for any logical reason and not necessarily at a natural point. It's not really a tragedy, or a sorrow, just final. Done.

It makes me think about what I would go back and change, and what I'm glad to be done with. Everyday thoughts of the past and the future enter my mind. Too often I think about the loss of someone I'm close to, and not often enough do I think about the quality of my own life.

There's a quote that life is frittered away by details. I used to just think it meant forget about the details. But I realize that almost everything I do, or think about is the details. In being faced with finality in one course of my life I realized how little thought I gave to the bigger picture. Beyond grad school decisions, tasks at work, plans with people. But now, it's spring, so all I do is talk about how busy things are at work, and think about how busy I am, and work busily, and fritter.

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